What Men Don’t Want to See in Your Profile? Online Dating

Dating apps – the fashionable thanks to date. Media portrayal of “when dates go wrong” has taken isolated incidents and created them the norm, therefore the probability of meeting someone during a} bar and beginning one thing new is currently very little. individuals simply do not trust one another.


Dating apps build geological dating safe and straightforward. Scrolling through profiles and selecting whether or not you prefer them or not has ne’er been easier. It’s like buying your soulmate and you get a complete aisle to select one from. All of them area unit totally different in their own approach, however loads area unit an equivalent in some ways too.


I have been victimization geological dating apps for over a year, have had my very own degree of success, however am currently simply victimization them to individuals watch and for amusement – affirmative that is right, entertainment! i exploit many Fish, kindling and Bumble. Let’s make a case for a bit regarding every one first:


• many Fish (or PoF) – this is often the foremost advanced of the 3. You input loads of data regarding yourself, likes and dislikes, what you’re searching for and temperament, there’s even a “Chemistry Test” to finish for compatibility (although i’m nevertheless to examine a profile with this completed). You then add photos of yourself, within the hope of attracting that one person, and write an in depth “About me” description. you’re shown photos of potential matches in your space and after you click on them you’re taken to their profile. there’s then ample data permitting you {to decide|to build a decision|to come to a decision|to make your mind up|to choose|to determine} whether or not or to not make contact. PoF additionally includes a “Meet Me” section, that may be a fast swipe wherever you choose supported one photograph whether or not or not you’d wish to meet someone – this is often but a paid section and intrinsically no one uses it!

• kindling – this is often the renowned geological dating app, wherever users swipe left or right reckoning on whether or not they just like the look of the person within the photograph. Right for affirmative and left for no. kindling permits you to look at all of their profile photos, which might vary from one to eight pictures. If you prefer the design of the person and wish to be told additional, then you’ll be able to faucet on rock bottom of the photograph for his or her description – some individuals use it et al do not. once a match happens, the headache is usually on the male to create initial contact

• Bumble – this geological dating app is analogous to kindling, however ordered out otherwise. On Bumble, the user scrolls up page by page to look at details of the individual that they’re observing and their extra pictures, however like kindling it is a left or right swipe reckoning on whether or not you’re drawn to that person. not like kindling, once a match happens, the headache is on the feminine to create the primary move, if truth be told the male cannot send 1st|the primary} message and also the girl has simply twenty four hours to send that first message. If you notably like your match then you’ll be able to use a operate to increase that twenty four hours to forty eight hours.


All sounds terribly difficult, however it very is not. I actually have found that the simplest “quality” women use Bumble, then kindling and bottom of the pile area unit users of PoF. Bumble users tend to be professionals UN agency get pleasure from “the finer things in life and world travel”, Pof users area unit less seemingly to be professionals and principally get pleasure from “watching tv, planning to the pothouse and family time”.


I have set to write down this, with a read to declaring, from a man’s perspective, why the ladies on these apps become unattractive, despite however they’ll look. I additionally need to show wherever ladies have their data wrong, once it involves the male users of those apps. i do know some men don’t scan the outline that’s fastidiously laboured over and go strictly on appearance, however there area unit several feminine users UN agency do precisely the same issue.




Let’s inspect however the profile is viewed once scan.


There area unit some ways that profiles area unit written and also the majority area unit terribly negatively composed, others area unit amusing et al area unit terribly sensitively and showing intelligence place along.


By “negatively composed”, I mean that they’re associate endless denouncement of why the user is hacked off with geological dating apps and men normally and what a possible match should not do, should not say within the initial message and a awfully tight description of however they must look! They use phrases like “just jog on” if a user is searching for one thing explicit like “one night stands”, “a skinny supermodel” or perhaps “doesn’t like children”. These area unit all things that place a possible match off once they scan your profile – it comes across as aggressive and being written by someone with “attitude” and a dislike of men normally… I mean if you dislike men therefore intensely then why area unit you searching for one?


Sizeism is rife – I once scan one lady’s profile and it merely read:


“What does one decision a person below vi feet tall? A friend”


How is that this tributary to finding a match? OK it created Maine smile, however additionally created Maine realise what i used to be facing – i’m five feet eight inches and within the geological dating game, thought-about a “short a**e” and thus unfit of a date. Why limit your choices to finding a decent man, UN agency will satisfy your each demand, as a result of he’s an in. or 2 shorter than you after you have your heals on? It all looks to be regarding look, that straightaway may be a left swipe on behalf of me, as a result of it shows however shallow these “beauties” area unit. “I need to wear heals once I quit {and therefore|and thus|and therefore} this adds four inches to my actual height of five feet three inches” – Buckeye State so you’re truly a “short a**e” too then?


Here may be a quote from another profile. This one belonged to a gorgeous lady of fifty two UN agency was five feet a pair of inches and looking out for someone of an analogous age:


“Must be over five foot ten (as i favor to wear heals) and have a full head of dark hair”.


I thought, honey if he is reached fifty and and he still includes a full head of hair he is done well, however if it’s still dark then he is victimization Grecian! If I wrote a equally specific profile description and same, as an example, “Must be a size eight to ten, thirty four BB and have red crisp hair” i might be shot on sight and find neglected by each lady UN agency came into contact with my profile for being a misogynist! And it’d in all probability be screen shot and shared around social media.


Clichés area unit another overused medium in Profile Descriptions – 2 of my absolute no-no’s area unit “looking for my partner in crime” and “love to travel abroad and within the UK”.


Looking for your “partner in crime”? Well I actually have no want to assist you murder your ex, dismember him and scatter him round the county! I add prisons, however haven’t any want to truly reside in one, thanks terribly much! LEFT SWIPE!


So you prefer movement and holidays abroad and within the UK? i believe that goes while not voice communication, we tend to ALL do! the very fact that you just mention it in your profile, for me, means that one in every of 2 things. Either you’ll not think about something fascinating to write down in your profile and thought “travelling” created you sound fascinating or mysterious, otherwise you area unit searching for a partner UN agency can whisk you away somewhere heat and sandy three or four times a year! LEFT SWIPE! I once referred to as someone out on this, we tend to matched and that i asked her “I see you prefer travel, what is the nicest place you have ever been to?” She replied “Scotland.” I asked “No outside the UK”. Her response “Oh, I’ve ne’er been abroad, however very would love to; perhaps we tend to may go somewhere along.” therefore you wish Maine to require you abroad, as a result of you cannot or will not take yourself? nevertheless her profile expressed that she likable to travel abroad.


Ladies complain that they feel their profiles go uninformed, however given the quantity of profiles that I actually have scan that area unit written during this approach, there’s no surprise that men do not trouble reading them. I will currently quite accurately predict, simply from a photograph, whether or not a profile is written during this approach.


The other issue that puts Maine off potential matches is “attitude” during a profile – once a profile is worded during a approach that’s aggressive towards potential matches. several profiles area unit worded during a approach that sharply states what the person is searching for, what a match ought to and may not have in their profile photos, what a match ought to and may not behave like, however they must word their contact message etc., these profiles sometimes finish with the words “if this is often you then ‘jog on’.” I hate this expression.


If you’re writing a profile, ladies, and you wish to draw in a possible mate, then tell North American country regarding yourself, place some effort into it. build North American country smile, grab our attention. Don’t, don’t, do not use clichés, or drone at excessive lengths regarding however dangerous men area unit, or kindling normally is; listing your assumptions regarding however men area unit all once one issue, adorned abreast of their ex, or married. this stuff simply cause you to sound like Eeyore talking politics and no-one dates a donkey!




The profile image is that the initial impression – it is the issue that produces North American country decide if we tend to want to cut into deeper into this person’s profile. during which case why place your profile image as a culture, a black screen, a photograph of your children, {a photograph|a photograph} of a landscape or a extremely pack up photo of your eye? Really? Am I planning to inspect the remainder of your pictures? Erm… no! As for my last example: is your profile a jigsaw, do I actually have to print off every photograph so as to create a composite of your face?


There area unit a number of things to not do once deciding that photos to incorporate during a profile:


• do not use filters, particularly Snapchat filters – if i need to examine you with bunny ears, then i’ll purchase you some, associated if i need to examine you with stars around you i’ll bang my head on one thing solid! These filters don’t provide an correct illustration of you and most of the time cause you to look frighteningly gruesome! once I meet you, I will not recognise you and once I finally do see through all of the wrinkles, i could feel the requirement to iron your face and cause you to wear the television antenna and glossy red nose that I bought beside Maine to create you truly appear as if your profile picture!

• Pouting – NO! a number of you appear as if a puffer fish making an attempt to not kiss a shark’s backside! simply smile and be natural – show Maine the flicker in your eyes and also the smile that produces the sun jealous.

• athletics Photos – ladies complain that comfort station photos perpetually show them holding a fish (you would be shocked what number ladies have photos like this – you can not describe yourself as associate animal lover and stand there holding a suffocative fish) or standing by their automobile or motorcycle. Well in my expertise seventy fifth of the feminine profiles I actually have visited show a photograph of them on the slopes leaning on their skis or one thing similar. we tend to don’t want to examine you in athletics glasses, hat, scarf, gloves, athletics overalls, huge boots etc. All we will see is your red nose and every one we will imagine is that the copious amounts of snot you were making an attempt to snivel up it, so as to own the photograph taken while not it running down and over your prime lip onto your cashmere scarf!

• Tongue – Please don’t transfer a photograph of you protruding your tongue, particularly if you’re over fifty. It simply is not enticing within the slightest. i assume women assume that it makes them look elfish and fun, perhaps even mischievous. It very does not, it simply makes Maine assume that you just ran out of photograph ideas

• muzzy pictures – Given trendy technology and also the age of the selfie being upon North American country, there’s zero excuse for the photos on your profile to be photos of previous images or muzzy in any approach form or type. they are doing not permit North American country to examine what you appear as if

• Face solely – Please don’t provide Maine eight photos of your head, from just about an equivalent angle! i buy what you appear as if once the primary a pair of or three. i need to examine additional – show your temperament in them, your style, show Maine what you prefer to try and do in your spare time (except athletics for obvious reasons) – it’s wonderful what may be hidden once all that you just area unit seeing may be a face. Show Maine you {in totally different|in several|in numerous} garments and at different times of the day – don’t show Maine photos of yourself in several outfits before of an equivalent mirror, with the outfit that you just were in within the previous image lying on the bed behind you or during a heap around your feet!

• punk Puffs – Specific example here of what to not do. This explicit (large – i believe BBW is what they talk over with themselves as) girl thought that it had been enticing to position a photograph of her sitting during a plastic chair on her area, legs enter front of her, slippers on, fag in one hand associated an outsized packet of punk puffs within the same hand, her alternative hand shoving one or two of same punk puffs into her mouth! Hmmmm, NOT enticing within the slightest!


The things individuals do! and so they surprise why they’re having very little or no success. several can even mix all of those things into one profile.


My profile includes a form of images, all taken recently, in several places, doing various things and in several sorts of apparel. One photograph specifically got Maine a good deal of abuse from a number of ladies. it’s a photograph of Maine and a horse, i am positive that I actually have no ought to make a case for the number of feminine profiles that I actually have come upon wherever they’re pictured with a horse! Apparently the very fact that i’m shown with a horse UN agency had buried his head in my chest upon our initial meeting, confirmed to be weak and feeble and not a person at all; i used to be told that it had been not manly, was unattractive and “wimpish”. One lady very visited city on Maine regarding it, during a} very abusive approach, and it had been very quite disconcerting, however in essence shows the type of individual that she is and lots of others area unit on these sites.




Lots of women area unit searching for a gentleman, UN agency is attentive, compassionate, caring etc., however once they get one, you discover they’re truly drawn to dangerous boys and notice that they assume you’ve got some quite ulterior motive as a result of you’re “too nice!” No, i’m simply being UN agency i’m – a genuinely nice guy and a gentleman UN agency needs to treat you right.


Another reason for the higher than, of course, is that these ladies are treated therefore badly by alternative men, that they are doing not believe they merit the proper to own someone truly be nice to them. This very saddens Maine, that several men treat ladies during this approach, which supplies ladies the impression that this is often traditional and being treated properly isn’t. I had one match UN agency took advantage of Maine being nice, to the purpose wherever I found myself paying her home bills as I felt sorry her. I had another UN agency was convinced i used to be a extremely nasty selfish person, victimization improbably advanced psychological games to entrap her, once all i used to be doing was being genuinely kind and caring towards her as a result of that’s UN agency i’m and UN agency i used to be spoken to be. She couldn’t notice a box to place Maine in, supported her past experiences, and consequently i used to be told it had been over.


My expertise and also the matches that I actually have dated have, sadly, light-emitting diode Maine to conclude that the bulk folks UN agency use geological dating apps area unit, in a way or alternative, “damaged”, sometimes psychologically, by some incident in our life or expertise with past partners. This thus hinders our ability to “relationship” commonly and consequently ends up in North American country continuance cycles that guarantee we tend to stay in. To assume that at some purpose within the future, every one within the modern times can are on a geological dating app at some purpose in their lives!


Statistics truly show this to be true – they show that double as several single individuals (compared to married people) suffer from mental disease, with single ladies being double as seemingly as single men to suffer from severe psychological disorders. Showing that the bulk {of ladies|of girls|of ladies} on {dating|geological {dating|geological geological dating|chemical analysis|qualitative analysis}|chemical analysis|qualitative analysis} apps (at least 2 thirds of them) area unit utterly bonkers! you’ve got at the best a one in three likelihood of dating an honest lady (women your likelihood is a pair of out {of three|of three} for dating an honest guy) – thus for each 3 women i’m matched with, just one isn’t suffering attributable to her past, if i’m lucky.


All of that same, ladies area unit undoubtedly the controllers wherever on line geological dating worries. they need the superiority in what’s acceptable for them to place in their profiles and photos. a man doing an equivalent style of issue would find yourself having his profile rumored variety of times and thought of insulting or offensive for his choice of words. ladies will state precisely what they’re searching for even all the way down to height, hair color, facial hair etc. – a person doing that may be thought-about as associate “AVOID”. Apparently ladies will write no matter they like, in spite of however offensive it’s – once more, a person wouldn’t go away with this. It looks individuals forget that they’re making an attempt to draw in someone UN agency can like them and wish to travel out with them and at some purpose, presumably, enter into a relationship with them.


My own read on the complete profile issue is: honest pictures, that show not simply my face however my whole clothed body, in garments i favor to wear and often do, in places that i favor to go to. In terms of description, I describe myself and my temperament honestly and compactly and am honest regarding what I get pleasure from doing. i have been told that every one of this makes Maine stand out from the group, however as a result of it’s therefore totally different to most male profiles it makes it look suspicious to potential matches! however ridiculous, that associate honest profile will produce suspicion amongst a myriad of pretend ones, or rather individuals being obsequious regarding UN agency they’re.


Due to everything I’ve careful here, I actually have set to limit my use of geological dating apps to “fun” solely – by that I don’t mean one night stands or any such shenanigans – that’s individuals observation and entertaining myself, making an attempt to guess from the initial image what the person can say regarding themselves and the way their profile can scan. I actually have additionally return to the conclusion that the bulk of profiles area unit simply individuals trying the approach they assume can attract the alternative sex, in terms of each pictures and outline. i believe several of the photographs area unit staged specifically for the geological dating app which the outline of self is worded victimization “commonalities” that area unit identifiers once looking for a compatible match.


During my analysis for this piece, I did speak to folks that had matched on geological dating sites and located the love of their life. I spoke to additional, however, UN agency had trustworthy in geological dating apps for years (7 years is that the longest anybody I spoke to had endlessly been victimization these apps) and had no success in the least. therefore it may be made, however just for a awfully little minority of individuals.


I have set to match the organic approach, i.e. the meeting of minds and disposition that comes from a natural meeting somewhere, by chance, be it at a park or a bar or some such. victimization geological dating apps simply causes you to force the problem, once really it ought to happen naturally and in its own time. If it does not happen, then a minimum of I actually have noted true love, that sadly over thanks to terminal sickness. i’m simply planning to get out and really consult with individuals and if something is supposed to happen then it’ll. If not, then i’ll simply get pleasure from my very own company associated still take myself on dates! Or i assume I may register as an escort and have the women pay Maine to require them on dates or higher still on holidays abroad… actually value considering if all else fails!


I will leave you with one final thought, rather ‘helpfully’ provided by a fan UN agency has been mirthfully married for several, many years. He same “You ought to avoid the market geological dating App. I’ve detected  that you simply just find yourself with a ‘bag for life’!”


Thank you for reading, I hope that you just found this text of use.


Peace,& love